


Writing In Love

by awalkingdenial



Series: Joshler 5+1 [5]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: 5+1 Things, Best Friends, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Josh in Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-04-07
Packaged: 2018-10-16 02:45:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10562106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awalkingdenial/pseuds/awalkingdenial
Summary: Five times Josh reads something Tyler's written down and the one time Tyler does.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I have posted this before then deleted it because, mmh, dunno, it needed some changes. Felt bad just abandoning it in my documents. So here you go.

 

 

**1.**

 

 

Tyler and Josh had been friends for ten months now. Enough time for Josh to understand that the way his heart jumped and his chest flowered whenever Tyler did painfully common things like lean on his shoulder while laughing, or look at him right in the eyes, didn’t exactly fit in the space his soul had carved for friendship. Better, part of it did fit perfectly, since Tyler was the best friend he’d ever had and almost certainly would have ever had, but there was something _more_ , something _different_ , that Josh’s heart had identified with _love_.

 

Josh forgave himself the cliche just because being _hopelessly_ in love with his best friend was already sufficiently punishing at times.

 

Like in that exact moment. 

 

They were an arm distant, their detention hour passing just like Math ones: slowly and boringly. Their professor had forbidden them to talk to each other and had _kindly suggested_ them to do their homework, too.

 

Josh was trying, really, but watching Tyler write, eyebrows slightly frowned in concentration, tongue darting on his flushed bottom lip occasionally, was far more entertaining. And frustrating. Yeah, that too.

 

When Tyler finally filled all the lines in the page, Josh raised his head so he could give a look. _I can’t believe this,_ he thought. Tyler had written “ _I wish I was eating taco Bell right now_ ” endlessly, all over the page.

 

 “Dun, Joseph,” the professor called. “You can go home.”

 

Once they were out, Tyler stretched his back. He looked like a cat. A kitten. “Dude, I was going nuts.”

 

“Yeah,” Josh laughed. “Me too.”

 

“Have school pranks lost their appeal to you now?”

 

“Right now my bed is far more appealing than any of them, but the answer is no.” _Why don’t you make my bed even more appealing by sleeping with me in it?_ “Let’s go.”

 

They chatted for some minutes before Tyler cared to pay attention at where they were going. “Josh, this is not how you get to my house.”

“I know.”

 

“Am I being kidnapped?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“ _Holy frick_. This is _sick_.”

 

Josh bursted into laughs. “I can’t believe you,” he shook his head hopelessly. “I thought we could stop at Taco Bell before going home.”

 

He _heard_ Tyler’s jaw drop. “Bud, I _so_ want to _kiss you_ right now.”

 

If only that was true, Josh would’ve been pulling over already.  

 

 

**2.**

 

From: Tyler, 4:53 PM

_Come to my house_

 

To: Tyler, 5:00 PM

_Is that an order_

 

From: Tyler, 5:01 PM

_Yes_

_I mean_

_Just come okay_

_I want to see your new hair_

 

To: Tyler, 5:05

_Be there in ten_

 

From:  Tyler, 5:07

_Faster_

 

Joshua’s life would have been so much easier if Tyler hadn’t passively possessive and actively jealous ways of expressing his affection that made him behave like a _needy boyfriend._ Not that Josh didn’t love that part of him. He rolled with it, trying not to build sand castles in his mind.

 

When he found himself in front of the door he raised a hand to knock. He almost knocked on his friend’s forehead instead.

 

“Oh my God! It’s freaking red, like _so freaking red!_ ”

 

Josh smiled shyly. “You like it?”

 

“Fucken yes,” he put an arm around Josh’s neck as they got inside. 

 

Something like an hour later, they were in Tyler’s room playing Mario Kart, when he suddenly paused. “Want some chips?”

 

“Mh, why not?”

 

“I’ll go take some,” he stood up and just when he was about to walk through the door, he stopped, grabbing the doorframe. It looked like he just remembered something important. He went back to his desk and opened a notebook. His pen flew on the page, and after smiling to himself, he looked at Josh. “I‘ll be back in a minute.”

 

Josh couldn’t spend a whole minute—it was something like _sixty freaking seconds—_ without knowing what Tyler thought so important to get back in the room and note it. 

 

He stood up, heart sinking almost as if it wanted to keep him sat down, and went towards the table. _I’m such an ass, such an ass, an asshole._ He opened the notebook hooking his forefinger in the gap made by the pen left in it. 

 

He bit his lip and swallowed his emotions down. 

 

_Red is my new favorite color._

 

 

**3.**

 

Tyler had his bad days.

 

His migraines were devastating. Josh suffered for him and with him. Tyler got pale, could barely stand without moaning in pain. His vision often blurred and he would keep a hand upon his right eye, which he always said hurt the most.

 

Josh knew Tyler didn’t dislike solitude, but he knew he hated feeling alone.

 

Josh would _always_ be there for him. 

 

“Ty, haven’t you written enough? Why don’t you sleep some?” he couldn’t help but sound concerned.

 

Tyler stopped writing. They were both on his bed, Tyler lying down on his stomach, Josh seated next to him. 

 

Tyler rolled to his side so he could look at Josh. “I think you’re right,” he weakly said, the dark circles under his eyes emphasizing the pained expression on his face. “It hurts so much. I’m exhausted.”

 

Josh reached for his closest hand and intertwined their fingers. Tyler held on tightly.

 

“My mind to bad thoughts is like a spider web to flies.”

 

Josh frowned. “You also feed on them?”

 

Tyler smiled for the first time that day. “Sometimes. I try to turn them in positive energy. I already have you, though, always sticking by me. My personal source of positive energy.”

 

“You know that—”

 

“Sometimes I’m afraid I’ll drain you,” he lifted his head so he could rest it on Josh’s lap. Josh welcomed him letting a hand through his ebony hair. “You will always be my _friend_ , right?” he looked up at him with hopeful eyes.

Burning desolation and fresh joy merged inside Josh’s chest, making a mess. “Sure,” he nods. He managed to smile too.

 

And just like that Tyler relaxed. Their fingers were still intertwined. 

 

Josh loved the aching soul sleeping on his lap more than anything else.

 

He gave a look at the open notebook beside him.

 

 

_A candle’s flame flings itself in through my brain_

_I see myself in that flicker of a warrior_

_Lost the only war he’s ever bled for_

_All the life he left is aimless—,ly placed_

_Like an unread yellowing book on a shelf_

_Pretend he’s been a hero, please, his mind’s clock’d rewind to zero_

_Once again he’d feel like filling the void of a cold beginning_

_Or perhaps he’d feel at ease allowed to freeze and keep pretending_

_He’s losing anyway and I can tell you it’s okay_

_His tears have never washed his downfalls_

_That’s cause when we liars fall_

_We know we were just born to crawl_

 

Josh’s hand held on tighter.

 

 

 

**4.**

 

 

Josh was waiting for Tyler with Brendon in the school’s main hallway, where their lockers were. 

 

“Where the hell is he? We’re going to be late for class,” Josh looked at his phone. Less than five minutes and they would have got detention as soon as they stepped in.

 

“I think I saw him,” Brendon grinned.

 

Joshua turned and saw him too. Tyler was coming towards them holding a piece of paper and a pen in his hands. He had a dreamy smile on his face and his eyes were lost into something they could only imagine.

 

“Oh, spit it out sweetie” Brendon encouraged him as he got close to them.

 

Tyler looked at them both, then showed them the paper.

 

Josh leaned in and read a phone number, Kristen written below it in Tyler’s handwriting.

 

Brendon whistled appreciatively. “That Kristen? The cheerleader?”

 

Tyler nodded.

 

Josh shook his head internally. _Please no_. _Please don’t tell me_ —

 

“We’re going on a date.”

 

Josh forced himself to smile, but his chest was aching. He knew that would happen eventually. 

 

He just wasn’t ready. 

 

He would have never been anyway, so there was no point in wishing something like this happened later in their friendship. “That’s great.”

 

Brendon bit his upper lip and raised his eyebrows. “ _I gotta go._ ”

 

Once alone, Tyler gave a Josh confused look. “You sure?”

 

“Yeah,” he swallowed down his bitterness. “She is beautiful and seems nice.”

 

Tyler hummed. “Did something happen today?”

 

_My heart hurts, but besides that everything’s great. My best friend just got a date with the nicest girl around and I can’t help but be happy for him and sorry for myself._ “Nothing remarkable,” he glanced at his phone screen. “Up for detention today?”

 

Tyler grabbed his arm as if he were some medieval lady. “With you, always. Shall we?”

 

 

 

**5.**

 

 

_I can’t believe I’m doing this,_ Josh thought while walking to the door. He took a deep breath and opened it. “Hey, man.”

 

Tyler didn’t look that overjoyed. Had the date been a disaster? He didn’t look sad either, though.

 

“Hey,” he replied getting in. He had his rucksack with him. “Can I stay here tonight?”

 

“Sure you can,” Joshua smiled sincerely. “You know that.”

 

A few minutes later, they were sitting on Josh’s couch, watching MTV. 

 

“Aren’t you gonna ask me how it went?”

 

Josh nodded. “Didn’t know if you wanted me to. So, tell me how it was.”

 

“She is truly wonderful. Beautiful, smart, funny to be around. But..”

 

Every word was like a dagger in Josh’s heart. “But?”

 

“I don’t know. I’ll see her again, I guess.” He let his head rest on Josh’s shoulder. “You know what I mean?”

 

“I think I do, but that’s not the point now,” he moved so Tyler had to lift his head and look at him. 

 

For a second, Josh saw Tyler’s eyes linger on his lips, but it was such a brief moment he thought he had imagined it. Which was very likely, given his feelings towards him.

 

They talked through all evening. Josh did his best to distract Tyler from the date, the mixed feelings it had brought up, and by the time they were in Josh’s bed, side by side, he thought he’d made it. But, just when he was about to _say goodnight, Ty,_ he saw Tyler reach for his phone.

 

He opened his notes and wrote: “ _transpose to diary tomorrow. I’m in_ ** _love_** _”._

 

Before his friend could turn to face him and sayanything, Josh closed his eyes shut and pretended to be sleeping. His throat ached with withheld tears. He felt so stupid.

 

And if Josh’s heart wasn’t already broken, a feather light kiss on his forehead and a whispered _good night_ would have broken it.

 

 

**+1.**

 

 

 

The morning after, Josh woke up to a few unread messages from Brendon. 

 

Tyler was still sleeping, mouth slightly open and drooling on Josh’s pillow. He was angelic, all golden skin in contrast with the white of the sheets.

 

He unlocked his phone, took a picture, then opened the messages.

 

From: Brendhot, 11:55 PM

_So, how are you?_

_I know things’ve been hard for you lately…_

_I’m glad Tyler has you but_

_If it becomes too much, do something_

_Or you’ll get stuck in that situation for a long time, man_

_I’m worried_

 

Josh bit his lip.

 

To: Brendhot, 09:34

_Not much I can do._

_I love him._

 

 

Josh felt Tyler shift and froze. His friend had risen his chest from the mattress and was leaning on his elbows. 

 

Joshua _tried_. “Goodmorning.”

 

“How long?”

 

Joshua _tried again_. “How long what?”

 

“You be honest with me or I’m leaving this bed and house right now.”

 

Josh panicked internally. “Oh, _please,_ don’t. It’s been months.”

 

He could see Tyler’s face, still kissed by the night of sleep, melt in an expression of pure joy. “You love me?”

 

“I do.”

 

“Look, I don’t know if it’s me who’s not good at signals, or it’s you who’s not good at getting them” Tyler began. “But I’ve been trying to let you know I love you more than in a friendly way for a while now, and I would highly appreciate it if you just kissed me now.”

 

Josh let a hand through his red hair, frowning. “I think I’m dreaming.”

 

“I can’t believe you’re making me _wait_.”

 

And after they kissed, and kissed, and kissed, Tyler told him everything.

 

And Josh understood. Understood that if he had pulled over that time while driving to Taco Bell, Tyler would have kissed him. Understood that Tyler acted in a passively possessive and actively jealous way, just like a needy boyfriend, because he would have loved to be. Understood why red had become Tyler’s new favorite color. Understood why Tyler needed him so much when he was feeling down. Understood why the date hadn’t felt right, and why Tyler had come to him right after, in his bed. 

 

He understood why Tyler had written that he was _in love._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Liked it? Hated it? Meh it? The answer is: check out my other works too and stay alive frens


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